The Struggle No One Talks About
One of the hardest parts of becoming her is releasing the pressure to perform.
In today’s culture, we are taught that transformation must be visible, fast, and impressive. We are shown highlight reels of overnight success, perfectly curated lives, and polished confidence that seems effortless.
But spiritual formation does not work like that.
There are seasons when:
You are growing, but no one sees it
You are praying, but nothing seems to be changing
You are obeying God, but the results feel delayed
You are refining your habits, your image, your lifestyle… yet you still feel in process
And in those moments, the enemy loves to whisper:
“Maybe it’s not working.”
“Maybe you’re behind.”
“Maybe you should be further along by now.”
But what if the slow work is the holy work?
Identity Before Image
As an image consultant, I teach often about presentation, alignment, and intentional living. But hear me clearly, beautiful:
Image without identity will always feel exhausting.
If your becoming is rooted in striving to be worthy, you will burn out.
If your glow-up is rooted in comparison, you will never feel finished.
If your discipline is rooted in fear, you will never experience peace.
True becoming begins with this foundation:
You are not becoming her to be worthy.
You are becoming her because you already belong to God.
Your identity is received, not manufactured.
This is where many women struggle.
We try to:
earn confidence
earn approval
earn transformation
earn the life we believe God has for us
But scripture reminds us that God is not asking you to perform your way into purpose.
He is inviting you to walk with Him through the process.
The Grace in the Middle Season
There is a very specific season many women find themselves in the middle.
Not who you used to be.
Not fully who you are becoming.
Just… in process.
This season can feel:
messy
unclear
slow
spiritually stretching
You may be:
rebuilding your habits
refining your wardrobe
restructuring your routines
deepening your walk with God
healing from old versions of yourself
And sometimes you wonder:
“God, am I doing this right?”
Here is the gentle truth:
If you are seeking Him sincerely, He is already guiding you faithfully.
Philippians 1:6 reminds us:
“He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.”
Notice what the scripture does not say.
It does not say:
You must complete it perfectly
You must rush the process
You must figure everything out alone
It says He will be faithful to complete it.
That means the pressure to force your becoming was never yours to carry.
Why Gratitude Changes Everything
One of the most powerful spiritual disciplines during your becoming season is gratitude.
Not fake positivity.
Not pretending everything is perfect.
But intentional gratitude that says:
“God, I thank You even while I am still in process.”
Gratitude does three things:
1. It protects your heart from comparison
When you are thankful for where God has you, it becomes harder to resent where others appear to be.
2. It stabilizes your emotions during slow seasons
Growth feels different when you learn to thank God in the middle, not just at the milestone.
3. It keeps your becoming God-centered
Gratitude reminds you that transformation is not self-made — it is Spirit-led.
Beautiful, never underestimate the power of thanking God for:
the discipline you’re building
the habits you’re strengthening
the healing you don’t fully see yet
the doors He has quietly closed
and the woman you are slowly, gracefully becoming
The Surrender Most Women Resist
Let me speak gently but honestly.
Many of us want transformation…
…but we still want control.
We want:
God’s outcome
on our timeline
with our preferred level of comfort
But becoming her in Christ requires a holy surrender.
Surrender of:
your image timeline
your comparison habits
your perfection pressure
your need to rush what God is still forming
Surrender does not mean passivity.
It means partnership with God instead of pressure on yourself.
It means showing up, doing your part, and trusting Him with what only He can shape.
A Word of Encouragement for You
If you are reading this in a quiet moment…
If you have been feeling stretched…
If your becoming season feels slower than expected…
Hear me clearly, woman of faith:
God has not forgotten you.
The discipline you are building matters.
The prayers you are whispering matter.
The small changes you are making matter.
The intentional life you are creating matters.
Nothing surrendered to God is ever wasted.
You are not behind.
You are being formed.
You are being refined.
You are being rooted more deeply than you realize.
And in due time not rushed time, not comparison time, but God’s perfect time what He is building in you will become visible through you.
Stay soft before God.
Stay consistent in your growth.
Stay grateful in the middle.
And if you want to continue walking through this journey with me, I invite you to watch the full Becoming Her™ Through Christ Jesus playlist, where we go deeper into faith-aligned image, lifestyle, and intentional becoming.
I’m rooting for you.
More importantly God is faithfully working in you.
With grace and intention,
Afi Elizabeth ✨
